she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
