so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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