before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
