Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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