I have demons in me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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