Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
