Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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