and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
