We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
