I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
