i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
