I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
