I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
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and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
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So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize