Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You pole danced in your parka.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
