I want to walk on stilts...naked
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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