so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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