he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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