I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
