I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
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i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
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I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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