Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
