butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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