It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
