I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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