Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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