I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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