I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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