So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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