So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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