I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just pee around me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
