Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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