He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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