May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
