Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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