Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
