My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize