Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i can't believe i had my finger in that

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  (330): i can't believe i had my finger in that http://tfl.nu/9wn3
  Replies (15) Good night (689) Bad night (3966)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

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  (215): The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room. http://tfl.nu/3nsa
  Replies (86) Good night (40500) Bad night (2245)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever

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  (314): so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever http://tfl.nu/0876
  Replies (18) Good night (3087) Bad night (627)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now

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  (703): He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now http://tfl.nu/q7km
  Replies (8) Good night (669) Bad night (2550)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side

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  (817): i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side http://tfl.nu/uejy
  Replies (54) Good night (10079) Bad night (1707)
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  (914): View more from New York

  getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.

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  (914): getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/b9qd
  Replies (60) Good night (867) Bad night (6132)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though

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  (609): you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though http://tfl.nu/8e43
  Replies (10) Good night (1608) Bad night (4383)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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  (219): Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills. http://tfl.nu/rh2h
  Replies (5) Good night (2698) Bad night (783)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Mom said you looked used

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  (910): Mom said you looked used http://tfl.nu/mdwd
  Replies (5) Good night (1612) Bad night (1150)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time

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  (816): Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time http://tfl.nu/d70u
  Replies (8) Good night (1369) Bad night (504)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?

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  (267): Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am? http://tfl.nu/20h1
  Replies (1) Good night (1186) Bad night (361)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.

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  (484): His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tfvq
  Replies (2) Good night (355) Bad night (683)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.

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  (716): I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed. http://tfl.nu/sc0t
  Replies (6) Good night (1018) Bad night (354)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Priorities

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  (203): We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades (1-203): Priorities http://tfl.nu/v803
  Replies (1) Good night (776) Bad night (259)
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  (323): View more from California

  I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?

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  (323): I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today? http://tfl.nu/ws7y
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (276)

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