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I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
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