Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat? http://tfl.nu/57e1
  Replies (25) Good night (3127) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha

  (1-760): View more from California

  I hate my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha (1-760): I hate my life http://tfl.nu/oavx
  Replies (12) Good night (674) Bad night (3056)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use. http://tfl.nu/fu5v
  Replies (25) Good night (4213) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar. http://tfl.nu/mv1g
  Replies (10) Good night (3640) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever. http://tfl.nu/wqqf
  Replies (3) Good night (2329) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light. http://tfl.nu/vezf
  Replies (5) Good night (2832) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her. http://tfl.nu/i4zz
  Replies (9) Good night (2347) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain. http://tfl.nu/mmkg
  Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??" http://tfl.nu/dlt9
  Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell http://tfl.nu/48fd
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere http://tfl.nu/qzem
  Replies (1) Good night (970) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES. http://tfl.nu/8c1x
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (1273)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face http://tfl.nu/wwpz
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again. http://tfl.nu/nw0b
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.

  (469): View more from Texas

  Tequila happens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night. (469): Tequila happens. http://tfl.nu/nyc9
  Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (373)

Randomize