well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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