Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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