she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
