One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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