I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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