Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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