when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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