I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
