Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just found puke in my bra..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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