wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i barfeds in our rink
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
