i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
