Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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