she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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