Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
