Just fell off a train. Bad.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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