PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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