he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
