I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
