she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize