Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
