You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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