you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
