windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
