Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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