It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize