Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
