hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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