i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't deserve a penis
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
