those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
